Belinda and Maria Star's Wild Ride
by Beanstalks
Summary: In my attempt to create the most bizarre Southern Vampire story ever, Maria-Star Cooper and Belinda, a waitress from Fangtasia, are on the run after murdering Eric Northman. Inspired by "Thelma and Louise."


**Author's Note: Blah blah blah, don't own the characters, whatever.**

"Are you ready, Maria-Star?"

"Ready, Belinda!"

These two young girls have risked everything to be here, driving down the sun-streaked highway, wanted for murder. But how did a waitress from Shreveport and a werewolf meet?

Let's find out!

((Cue flashback))

"Gee, it sure is boring around here," Belinda said with a sigh. She was working late at Fangtasia, a vampire nightclub. She was a fang-banger, a sort of vampire groupie, who jumped at the chance to work at a vampire bar.

"My girl," Pam said deviously, "This peace is what all workers strive for. We've only got a few customers tonight, and the big boss man is not even here yet."

"Aw, but I'm really bored." Belinda straighted out her waitress uniform and looked in the mirror to see if the fake bite marks were still perfect on her neck.

"You know, we could always....make things interesting, you and I."

"No thanks. I want an adventure, with fun and excitement!"

"Well...."

"Not just meaningless sex."

"Fine," Pam resided with a sigh. "Suit yourself."

Pam jumped up, startling Belinda, and ran sexily towards the front door. She let in a woman with toast-brown skin.

"How may I help you," Belinda said warmly to the girl.

"Um," the woman thought about her choice of food or drink as Pam checked her I.D.

"May I suggest a Smeinekin beer? It's imported, but not too expensive."

"Alrighty then."

The girl had taken up a stool close to the bar. Since business was slow tonight, Belinda had time for a long break, and sat on the other end of the bar.

"So, you a fang-banger?"

"No, I'm not," the girl said blandly, then took a sip of her drink. "Are you?"

"Well..." Belinda blushed, then decided to change the subject. "What's your name? I'm Belinda."

"Maria-Star Cooper. Nice to meet ya."

The two women sat awkwardly at the bar. However, as the night wore on, and the plastic cups and shot glasses piled up, the women got familiar with each other.

"Wow," Maria-Star shouted. "I totally want to have an adventure, too!"

"Well, girls _do _need excitement," Belinda said with a drunken giggle.

"We should _totally _hang out more."

"Why yes, we shoul...."

Belinda turned to see her boos, Eric Northman, come in. He was a big, tall, blond vampire with blue eyes, a cowboy hat, and a lot of Viking in him.

He also had a swarm of women around him.

"Oh, my God," one girl squealed. "I should _totally _write a pairing fanfic about you!"

"Oh, my gosh!" Another girl was squealing, too. "Me, too!"

"Belinda, get these women some drinks. _Now._"

"Right away, Eric, sir," Belinda said with a sigh. She turned to Maria-Star. "See you later."

"Belinda," Eric growled. "Shut up and get back to work, or else you're fired."

"Wow, he's so dominant," one girl said with admiration.

"Mr. Eric," Maria-Star said with drunken slurring, "I do believe you should apologize to my friend here."

"Beat it, barfly. I can have anyone in town as a customer; I don't need you getting wasted, or my time being wasted."

Maria-Star's eyes widen. She shot out of her stool. "Excuse me, but you better apologize or else."

"Or else what?" Eric now had a sinister grin on his mug.

"Maria-Star, don't worry about it," Belinda said sadly. She was now seating some of the girls.

"Get out," Eric said. "Get out, you stupid shifter."

"I'm a Were," Maria-Star snapped angrily.

"And you'll be a broken one if you don't leave."

"You..." Maria-Star was now flustered.

She walked towards the door, but turned back and said, "...Are a mean man!"

Eric, using his vampiric speed, ran towards Maria-Star and squeezed her face with his large hand. His other hand was pressing on her chest.

"Leave her alone, Mr. Northman," Belinda said, and walked over towards him. But her voice indicated fear, anxiety.

Eric responded angrily by grabbing Belinda by her hair and throwing her across the room. He still had some of her hair in his hand.

Belinda groaned. Pam went to help her, but caught the eye of Eric and stepped down. Eric was now walking towards her, and pressed his foot down on her neck.

"I hate you fucking fang-bangers," Eric said. He raised his foot and readied for a sharp stomp against her neck.

But he never did stomp on her.

Eric Northman gasped and dropped to his knees. Behind him, Maria-Star was holding a raised silver pocket knife.

Normally, silver would be very painful to vampires, Weres and shifters, though only affected the latter in their animal forms. But when Maria-Star used the knife he had for self-defense, she knew there was no going back.

Eric gasped painfully, and collapsed on the floor. Pam ran to his side, keeping her fiery eyes at Maria-Star.

"I...I didn't mean to, miss," Maria-Star cried out. "I didn't mean to! I just panicked."

"Eric," Pam said to the dying Viking. "Don't worry, this woman, she will pay."

Belinda struggled to get up, but managed to get up and walk over to Maria-Star.

"Come on, this way," Belinda said. "Follow me."

She led Maria-Star through the back and out of the bar. By now, everyone inside was panicking, and every employee was working to calm everyone down and to avoid a public relations nightmare.

"Where's your car, Maria?" Belinda asked as she held the still-shocked Maria-Star Cooper.

"I...I walked," Maria-Star mumbled. "I...I was just checking this place out, you know, for fun. I didn't..."

"Don't worry," Belinda said, leading her new friend two a blue Jeep. "I'm in a carpool."

She opened the door and took out the keys in the ignition. She pushed Maria-Star into the passenger's seat and briskly drove off.

There was no going back.


End file.
